DEATH

     “Lay still sir, the paramedics are on their way, don’t try to get up”  August 2005, those were the words I heard when I  was opening my eyes. I was laying on the floor of a little convenience store called    Jacks Git-and-Go.

      “Do you know your name sir?”  the man asked. Instantly I replied  “David Smith”  “Do you know where you live?” he asked. I told him and I told him my SS number and drivers licenses number. “Do you know what happened”, he went on.

       I told him that I had been a little light headed at work that day but it was a really hot day so I didn’t pay much attention. Then I told him that when I got out of my car I felt lightheaded and dizzy but I had just come from work so I passed it off. Then I told him that while standing at the counter waiting to be waited on I felt faint and I leaned forward to tell the clerk that I was going to sit down for a minute and that was the last thing I remembered. 

      He said, ”Can you sit up?” and I said “sure” I sat up and immediately I began to black out.

       I had never in my 67 years of life passed out. This was new to me. I thought at that moment my life was leaving me. My thought was, ”I’m going to die.”

      No panic------I was surprised and elated at the same time.

      My second thought was about my son and daughter. I love them both at least as much as any human being can and sometimes have tried to love them too much. I thought “what will they do without me” and as quickly as it came it was followed by the thought “they’ll have to go it alone”. 

       As I moved to lay back down I was leaving myself, I was blacking out and I thought I was dying.

      It doesn’t matter that I didn’t die. 

      What mattered was that I truly thought I was dying and it was ok.

      All of that thinking took place in less than 2 seconds!

      It turned out that I had 4 bleeding ulcers and I was in danger. Fortunately I didn’t need a blood transfusion, I recovered quickly.

      I PASSED THE TEST!

      I don’t know anything about death other than nobody comes back from it.

      However, My stumbling, bumbling life full of failure and mistakes, through my ignorance and willfulness, the knowledge that God wants me, held me at that hour of vulnerability.

      While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (ME) Before the earth was formed He Knew my name, David, He called me! The past 28 years of my life I have staked on those facts. No man comes to the Father save the Spirit draw him.    EVEN THE WANT TO COMES FROM GOD! 

      The calm that I had at the moment that I thought was impending death was beyond my ability. My conscience did not condemn me! I was able to die! It was OK!  

      I didn’t particularly want to but it wasn’t in my control and I was at peace with that.        

      In the space of a few seconds all these thought came to me and I was thrilled, as I rode to the hospital in the ambulance, that I had faced that.

       I CAN DIE UNAFRAID WITH NO CONDEMNATION!

      There is therefore NO condemnation to them that love God and are called according to His purpose.   The book of Ephesians tells me that we (me) I was called in eternity before the foundation of the earth according to His purpose!

      We ( I ) was placed in Christ before time began.

      To believe that and trust God that it is true is to have eternal life as apposed to eternal death.

       I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live;  yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me!

………………………………….David