MY EARLIEST MEMORY

       My earliest memory in life is that of kindergarten. 

      My dad was in WW2 in the Philippines and I had started to Clifton Hill grade school in Omaha Nebr.

      Each day my mom would walk me to school and each day she would come and get me. 

      I noticed that everyday at recess nobody paid attention to us and the school yard was open. As my little friends and I talked they soon let me know that they didn’t like school so I asked why they stayed, their reply was, they didn’t know or were afraid not to stay.   My thinking was, “I could be home before recess was over and who would know”, so one day I showed them. Off I ran, straight home. And straight back to school I was marched by a very embarrassed mother! The point of the memory is this…………..

      At 6 years old I knew instinctively that I could do what I wanted….I could choose,                                                                           

Consequences or not-I could choose ! 

      The light of understanding that came on that day has been a blessing and a curse to me all my life.

      I had no way of knowing anything about the future but I remember the exhilarated feeling that I had that day!  Rebellion was born that day in me, little 6 year old David. 

      Was I “evil”? No!   I was a human being born into this world with a natural inclination go my own way.

      Was that my fault?    Nope.  

      At 6 years old had I done some bad deed to throw me into the depths of depravity?   Nope.  

      I was a human being who was born to the human race from whom the Spirit of God had withdrawn.

      Because of not trusting what God had told them, Adam and Eve lost the privilege and responsibility of propagating a race of people with the nature of God in it.

      Now I was in a race of humans that required being born again. I had to be born all over again!

      Whatever process God uses to put His spirit in us, I needed it.

       As my life moved on, Grade school, High school, Sunday school classes too many to remember and then on to college. Thru marriage and on and on in this adventure we all have on an individual basis. Through the valleys, through the storms, on the top of life, to the bottom, through the quiet and sometimes loud desperations of life, (Psalms 84 says (”blessed men go thru valleys”) He has never “left me nor forsaken me”.

      I would not care to tell anyone where He has gone with me, but I can tell anyone that once one has made a commitment of any kind, be it ever so small, ( actually a small one is best because the bigger the commitment, the more of the person making it- is in it-and gets in Gods way), there is no place anyone can go nor anything one can do to shake the love that God has for the person who leans toward Him in the smallest  way.

        His Grace covers us while His Spirit changes us……” No man comes to the Father accept the Spirit draws him”, and when the slightest response is given all of Heaven goes into full alert…..Grace and Mercy and Love are in full effect.

          Psalms 39:1-16 says it much better than I do; 

       “ O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit down and when I rise;

      You perceive my thoughts from afar.

      You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.          Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely,

      O Lord. You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

      Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

      If I go to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

      If I rise on the wings of dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.

      If I say” Surely the darkness will hide me and the light becomes night around me”, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

      For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

      I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

      My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

      When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

      All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  (NIV version) 

 What an awesome promise in the form of a statement!

      It has taken all these years (still is happening) to divorce myself from the bondage of rules and self-centered behavior called religion.

      Rules are not what Christianity is. 

      It is not about me---it is about Him….

      His Spirit comes in to our spirit in some marvelously, mysterious way, known only to Him and He changes us according to His working in us and while He is doing the changing He never-ever-once- violates our free will.                

       He spends our life changing us and when our life ends, He perfects us. ………………………………David