TRUTH AND 12 STEPS

      Some years ago I was researching this thing called Co-
Dependecy. The idea that one can control anothers
behavior by giving them something, thereby enticing them
to give back something one wants.
    It is obvious in the battered persons life, they give in
order to try to control the batterer. (who wants to be
battered?) Or the idea of doing something nice to get
something back. Or the idea of browbeating someone or a
group of someones in order to control their behavior,
thereby giving credibility to the browbeaters fantasy of
superiority.
     The issue of control and manipulation has been a
lifelong facination for me and when I began to look at co-
dependency a light went on. I soon discovered an author
by the name of Melody Beattie. She was in out of abusive
relationships, chemically addicted to whatever eased the
pain, both emotionally and physically. ….She was
introduced to Alcohol Anonymous and received great help
but she soon came face to face with the control issue, the
manipulation, the need to always be in command no
matter what it took to get it. Co-dependency…….
      As she opened herself for help she began to see her
problem.(the problem is never with the other person) Her
problem was her.
She began to move the 12 steps of AA to her world of
control and manipulation and adapted them to co-
dependency.

1.We admitted we were powerless over others----that our
lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to
the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and morale inventory of ourselves.

5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human
being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our short comings.

8. Made a list of all the persons we had harmed, and
became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,
accept when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we
were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our
conscious contact with God as we understood God,
praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the
power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to others co-
dependents, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.

As I studied these 12 steps and her life I was struck by the
thought ……. “ALL TRUTH LEADS TO GOD”          
David…..